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28 Mar 2007

Hooker vs. Shrink
Dear Doc

I'm new to your forum and I see from various posts that you have been away for medical reasons. Welcome back and good luck with your recovery.

I am a prostitute. Its okay to say negative things if you like, I don't mind and I can assure that I have heard it all before so I am like immune. Thats not why I am writing anyway as I am seeing a good shrink. I don't know how much you know about my business and what goes through peoples minds but maybe you researched and read about it. Often men come and see me but they end up talking to me only, nothing else. I feel sorry for them sometimes, not always, seeing them sitting on the edge of the bed with one sock off and a sad expression.

They are glad to talk and I've learnt the right things to say at the time but I know it only makes them feel better for a while. Can a shrink help them? I used to think that they tell me things because they think I either stupid or a stranger or its safe to tell me because I can't tell anyone else. I hear about fraud that they commit and get away with but are feeling bad (but not bad enough hey!), that their wives are having affairs, or that their wife is ill with cancer or that eldest son is secretely gay. I say "shame" a lot and give them a whiskey and they talk. Sometimes they cry, softly, and apoligise. They pay me before and then start talking while undressing and then get dressed and tip me before leaving. So its easy money but I feel that they need help. Should I recommend that they see someone like you? Is it my business? Theres a few that I see regularly so its like steady money but they are getting worse. They drink more and more. One comes to see me and just sits there, wanting me to sit on his lap until he leaves. He looks sad. I don't even say shame any more as I don't know what his problem is or why he comes to see me every week. I talk a lot, about rubbish, anything to fill the time. Every time he goes I think thats the last of him but he comes back every week. What do you think doc?
Answer 564 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Thanks, Candy !
Now, I don't LIKE saying negative things, and I'm not in any hurry to say anything negaive about you. As a prostitute with thoughtful intelligence, you'll understand why many people, understandably, have strongly negative feelings about your line of work.
I understand from numerous surveyrs and reports that indeed it is common that men who visit a prostitute only or mainly want to talk --- and it is sad that they apparently feel so unable to talk to someone who is a friend or family-member. Barmen / bar staff report very similar experiences.
And you have correctly identified one of the important variables here --- its' not hard to say something soothing ( and simply allowing them to talk is in itself proven to be helpful ) --- but the soothing isn't lasting in its effect --- that's where proper counselling aims to be different. Because with proper training one can more readily understand what's wrong, and why, and how it could be remedied, a shrink / professional counsellor, can be more useful.
I don't see anything wrong with you gently suggesting that a client should seriously consider seeing a counsellor for more lasting help --- you can do it in a manner which doesn't suggest that you yourself are rejecting them, but as a sugegsted supplement.
Interesting idea about the internet peep show. I wonder if i'd work for an internet session with a shrink or counsellor ? ;}

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