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01 Mar 2004

How do I find out if he is cheating
I think my husband is cheating.. He is always working late. His phone is always off at home and when he goes out. He hides his bank statements.
I dont want to accuse him because he will start hiding more things away and because I dont have solid evidence. I dont want to start following him around.
Any ideas..i have tried talking to him but he just get mad and tells me i dont trust..but should I trust him if he is hiding things away.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Cheat,
I suppose you could hide a private detective. He doesn't hve the right to expect total and unquestioning trust -- trust needs to be earned, not just given as a gift. An honest man has no need to hide anything from his wife ; and does not get so furious and acusatory when questioned. As Think points out, cheating isn't the only possible explanation for his secretiveness. Switching the phone off while he's out raises the possibility that he could be cheating someone else, and doesn't want them to find out about you.
There's no way to be certain. A detective costs money ; talking to him may work, if one can get the right moment, and, taking care not to sound accusatory ( which gives him the excuse to evade answering by getting angry ) work on issues like the turning of of the cellphone, asnd your worry that he couldnt be reached if there was an emergency.
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