Ask an expert

05 Oct 2009

How do i go back to my old self
Hi Doc

I have had my own business for 4 years now, started the business fresh out of school so basically im 22 now.

I used to be outgoing and fun, and could hold a good conversation, but lately i' ve been finding it hard to interact with people on a social level.

I' ve had 3 serious relationships thus far, i am in the 3rd one now. I think i have met the one i want to marry cos i really love this guy

The only problem is is that because im not as social as he is, we sometimes disagree and i feel terrible for days until we have a proper speak about it

We have spoken about marriage etc and he loves me as well, and i know that if i wasnt socially this off balance as i am now, this problem wouldnt arise... the problem that he has is that he says he finds it difficult to be around me sometimes cos i cant let go of work

he is dealing with it but i feel that i need to make a change because im so tired all the time and im grumpy cos i constantly think of the business

I really dont want to lose this guy because of all the relationships ive had, hes the only one willing to help me get out of my work rut .. the others never stuck around long enough

how do i let go of this constant work anxiety and learn to relax so that it may not affect my personal life?

please know that my parents work with me so i see them all the time and sometimes work spills over to home and he is dragged into it and this i think is unfair

im struggling to find my balance and i need some professional advice... i want to be able to easily hold a conversation again like i used to... and laugh and crack jokes... i hate feeling so listless... i wanna be free again

Please help
thank u
Answer 380 views

01 Jan 0001

Why not see relationship counsellor together ( eg one found through FAMSA ) to explore this particular relationship and your compatibility, and whether it is working on, and if so, how. There's nothing wrong about being more or less interested in social activity, but if a couple differ widely on this, it may cause problems in their ongoing relationship.
But apart from that, you may be describing an anxiety disorder, including features of social anxiety ( if it's not so much that you're just not especially interested in going out to social gatherings, hut that you expect to feel very uncomfortable at them ), For this CBT style counselling can be very effective indeed, and an assessment by the shrink who can povide this, would clarify what is needed. The Anxiety-Depression Spport Group can help you identify such shrinks within reach of you
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.