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19 Jul 2005

How do I initiate
I am married fo 3 years now, and I find it difficult or embarassing to initiate sex or intimacy with my partner. I find it so embarassing as if I am a bit*ch when I am aroused and asking for it. I know this is not healthy for my relationship at the end of the day. I also have certain ideas about our sex life and fantasies, but too ashamed to communicate them with hubby. I find myself being horny all night and if he doesnt initiate, I just sleep or wait for him to go and help myself. This is not healthy but what can I do? I want to over come this stupid fear and embarassment feeling.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Nothing whatever wrong with you initiating sex with your husband --- many men find the idea particularly arousing. Nothing about it ought to harm the relationship at all. maybe, before plunging into graphic details of our other ideas and fantasies, ghet him used to talking with you about what you already do, about sexual things in general, and then move closer to the other ideas you have in mind. If you really find this too embarrassing to contemplate, maybe a couple of sessions with a counsellor would help to get back to progress. And, as Lola suggests, it may be useful to understand, maybe with the help of a counsellor, where you got these ideas that it's wrong for you to take the initiative.
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