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01 Jul 2011
How do I stop this?
Hi, I am a 24 year old female. I have, since the age of 14, been very obsessed with weight, eating, etc. I did a lot of sport at school until we changed school, and it was when we changed schools that I first stepped onto a scale and was quite shocked at my weight (I weighed just over 60kgs). I managed to keep it down my whole high school career (according to BMI, I was then in the underweight category). No one in my family really knew, or cared, about my habits. After school I still managed to keep it down (I did a LOT of exercise) and recently I stopped exercising for a month. I gained 4kgs and I have now joined a gym, lost 1 of those kgs so far (according to BMI, I am just in the “ normal” category). The thing is, I don’ t WANT to be so obsessed with my weight! I feel bad whenever I eat something extra (like today I had a cup of soup, and I ate a mini packet of crackers with it and I feel TERRIBLE about it). I am always getting chocolate from work, husband, family and I LOVE it, but I feel that if I eat it I am going to have to do extra at the gym to make up for it (I am planning on doing an hour and a half tonight because I had take-aways for supper last night). It is driving me crazy and I have food on my mind constantly. I always try and convince myself that I don’ t want that fudge, I don’ t want that little chocolate and I end up wanting it more! And eating in moderation? Please, once it’ s in my hands it is gobbled up in minutes. Self control doesn’ t work with me and I don’ t even WANT to be super skinny. I just don’ t know how to stop this!!!!
It sounds very much indeed as though you have eating disorder ? It is NEVER EVER normal or healthy to agonize so much about your weight. Very few people manage to stop this entirely on their own. See a good local psychiatrist for a proper asessment and diagnosis, and discuss treatment options, These may involve medication but that alone is never enough, and psychological therapy wil also be needed. It will be cheaper than gym membership and hugely more healthy. You can get over this, and learn to enjoy being at a weight within the normal range, eating a healthy and balanced diet ( which you are NOT doing a present ) and concentrating on enjoying life rather than obsessing about BMI's, weights, and scraps of food. PLEASE see a suitable specialist as soon as possible, and get over this disorder.
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