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9h ago

How does a guy deal with rejecting a pregnancy...
Hi
I would like to find out from guys out there how you actually deal with this.My boyfriend and i are very close and we know we love each other.He has a baby with his ex girlfriend which was not planned.I think the woman thought that she was getting old and needed a baby.Anyway, i fell pregnant also unplanned and he is not ready for another baby.His parents don't even know about the first baby to say the least.He told me that he was not ready and that he felt that we should rather get married first and have a family coz right now our lives are not organised at all but the choice was mine to go ahead or not.I believe that he would have loved to have a baby with me because a while ago he had said that maybe if we had met earlier then i would be the one having his first born child.So i had the abortion and i was very hurt by losing the baby and i think he was also hurt.He is the type of guy that doesn't like to show his pain and he doesn't like to take blame for someone else's pain.He avoided seeing me after the abortion and while i was on bed rest.He just makes excuses but i know he is lying and i can hear in his voice that he is stressed or moved by something.I told him that i don't want him in my life anymore but he won't accept it.Could this be his way of dealing with everything or should i just find someone else?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear TT,
if this guy is so darn "not ready" shouldn't he have learned a whole lot more about contraception ? It doesn't need a degree in rocket science to prevent pregnancies. To have one unplanned pregnancy is unfortunate ; to have two is downright carelessness ! And there's no excuse for him to have avoided seeing you while you were in bed and feeling espcially sad --- it's unmanly to avoid one's responsibilities like that. He just really doesn't sound like a reliable and genuinely caring spouse.
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