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05 Jan 2005

How to control anger?
I am a lady just got married to a wonderful husband, my problem is when ever he makes me angry (sometimes even if someone else makes me angry) i would just shout at him, blame him for everything that goes wrong and even try to beat him up and throung things that could hurt him at him. After i've done all that i'd day sorry and expect him to forgive me just like that if he doesnt i start again... i am afraid that some day if i continue like this i might even kill him for no reason at all (when all this happens i know its wrong but i just cant stop myself, its like i loose control of myself) i would then cry, by then he is just confused that i do all this to him and i am still the one who is crying!!

Anyone, what can i do to stop this, i know i will lose him and anybody else i love if i continue like this because when this happens i'll be just horrible to anyone i come accross, even my 3 year old daughter!!

Please help
Answer 392 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

See a counsellor ! It sounds clear that you have a personal specific problem in dealing usefully and sensibly with anger, and anger management is something which you can learn best when working with a counsellor on this and whatever other probl;ems it is related to. No wonder he gets confused, when you hurt him, and then start crying as if it were you who had been hurt. By recognizing that you have this problem you have already made the first big step, without which there would have been no hope of improvement. Work with a good local psychologist, NOT with the occasionally offered "Anger Management" workshops or courses --- something far more individualised and personal is needed than the trite and superficial stuff offered in such settings.
And as Dude says, try some physical activity, such as joining a gym, as well. As DUe and BT say, anger is rarely a problem on its own, but an expression of other problems, which need themselves to be solved with your shrink's help.
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