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01 Aug 2007

Husband addicted to Porn
My husband and I only have sex about once a month. According to him he is not attracted to me anymore since the baby. The irony is that he also has also put on weight, not as much as me, but he has a big ‘boep,. Instead of having sex, he now masturbates a few times a week to pornography. Apparently this and pictures of non-real woman are better and more pleasing than having sex with me.
I need help. What must we do? I am on a diet, but it will take months to lose the weight in a healthy manner. Should he see a councillor, or is this only a physical problem? According to him the fault lies with me and my weight.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Check out the archives of this forum to see the many times we have discussed this very issue. The pair of you should get involved in proper marriage counselling ( eg through FAMSA ) to sort out what is going wrong in the relationship, and then the sex can come right. Where porn is used as a supplement to a sexual relationship, its usually not a problem-- the trouble comes when it's used as a substitute. And he may be having a problem regarding his own sexual confidence, and likes the fact that no woman in porn could rejct him or find him unattractive. Within counselling, you can work together --- why not diet together ? This is NEVER " only a physical problem" His complaint about your weight is an excuse, and his ignoring his own weight is sexist and denial. And, as CJ wisely says, without fixing his need to blame you for his failings, he'll only switch excuses.
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