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26 Feb 2004

husband and work no communicating well
I'm a brothel owner. My husband knows what I do. He is constantly getting involved with the girls here, but then denies having anything to do with them. How I'm I supposed to keep my dignity.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Phone,
Supposing that yours is indeed a serious question, don't snipe at volcano --- probably a majority of the population would consider that there is no dignity in the profession of owning a brothel --- and surely you knew that long before you opened one. And this is hardly a "skeleton in your closet", unless you run a highly unusual form of brothel. Yo have a right to choose your own line of work, but not, actually, to insist that whatever it is, other people must respect it. hey're under no obligation to do so.
And there is something contradictory in your response, which may be why it is troubling you. If your consider brothel-keeping merely "providing a service", when why shouldn't your husband make use of that service ? Why should it be fine for other women's husbands to use the service, and not yours ? If he is "having an affair", then isn't that what these other women's husbands are doing, too, and isn't that equally objectionable ? Why is it OK ( in your view ) for those other men, and not for your husband ? Maybe the experience can convey to you how the wives of your other customers are likely to feel about it, something you may want to take into consideration.
Some would feel that even if it were legal to own and/or operate a brothel, one of the costs of choosing such a line of business, is that (a) dignity doesn't automatically go with the territory ( and inner dignity, i/e/ how you feel about yourself, is up to you, and not to other people ) ; and (b) if you actually own and run it --- why can't you keep your husband out of it ?
If you ran a dress shop, and your hubby kept popping in and trying on the dresses, I'm sure you'd have no trouble in forbidding him to do so ? SO why has this been difficult for you ?
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