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04 Aug 2010

Huweliks probleem
Goeie dag,

Ek en my man is besig om mekaar te verloor en verby mekaar te lewe. Ons het onlangs ''n baba gehad en hy is nou 5maande oud. Dinge is net soveel meer besiger met die huishoudelike take, baba en werk en ons is albei op breekpunt. Ek weet nie wat om te doen om dinge beter te maak nie, alles is so veeleisend. Ons het ''n beraader gaan sien en sy het voorgestel dat ons vir ''n ruk apart moet lewe. Vir my voel dit nie na ''n goeie opsie nie, want ek is bang dit vererger net dinge en mens dryf net nog verder van mekaar. My man het ook baie stress by die werk en hy het nie eers meer ''n eetlus nie, hy slaap sleg en daar is hierdie vibe by die huis. Sy het ook voorgestel dat ons in aparte kamers moet slaap. Ek is al radeloos en ontsettend moeg &  uitgeput en weet nie meer watter kant toe nie. Ek het al gedink dat my man dalk post natal depression het - maar ek weet nie hoe om hom te help nie

Dankie
Answer 1,654 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I'm not sure what your counsellor's way of thinking was, but if a main issue was the stresses of work, home, and infant care, and of losing touch with each other, I find it hard to see what could be gained by living apart for a time ( apart from increasing the cost of living, and decreasing your opportunities for working together to find solutions ). It just does not sound a helpful suggestion at all.
I wonder, too, whether your husband may be becoming depressed, too, from your description. This can be helped by medication from your GP, as well as by proper counselling of the CBT form. And a similarly sensible counsellor could help you both find better ways of avoiding such stress as is avoidable, and handling whatever stress can't be avoided

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