Ask an expert

05 Jul 2005

I am so HURT!!
My bf dumped me two weeks back coz I had lied about going out with my friends. The reason I lied is bcoz i know how jealous and possesive he is when I want to go out without him. He accused me of having an affair and having slept with another man, thats why I lied to him about my whereabouts. Truth is I lied knowing he was going to be upset with me for going out.

Anyway I pleaded with him for the whole week, I told him the truth about where I went to.. and apologised for lying, irrespective of my reasons. He then said he'll consider it, I should just give him time. I did, in the mean time he would ask me to come and spend time with him and our child. He booked us in a hotel the other day... for 4 days, he invited us to his house as if everything is normal. On sunday, after spending time with him satureday night, he tells me he wants out and has been unhappy in the relationship.

I am so hurt, as this is unfair, and to be honest I have admitted to myself that this is one guilt trip, and he wants me to beg. I have forgiven him for major things in the past, and yet he ends our relationship over such a small thing. Should I just let go or fight for this relationship... Its been 6 years with a four year old daughter!

Answer 454 views

01 Jan 0001

Sorry to hear of your sadness, but if a guy is that possessive and controlling, you're actually well rid of him. After his fit of jealousy, how dare he be so darn condascending about "thinking" about whether to forgive you for what he caused ? it sounds as though he has a whole big pile of emotional baggage he isn't dealing with, and a miserable relaionship with him isn't necessaril a good thing for the child. If you decide to part, this might be psychologically healthier for both of you, but consult a lawyer to ensure that he continues to have to pay proper maintenance for the child, and that there isn't room for quarrels about access. Recover your other friendships and family.
keep your dignity,don't beg, and let him take responsibility for his choices and actions.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9470 votes
68% - 20276 votes