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19 Jan 2004

My husband had an affair 6 yrs ago and a child from that affair, they broke up when the child was 3 after I found out. He begged me to forgive him and said that it was a mistake that he had a child with that lady. I never met the child and his mother. The child stays with the sister of this lady, and I heard that my husband visits this child sometimes, and I don't have a problem with that.(my husband never tells me when he visits this child).

My problem is - My husband and I have a 9yrs old son and now I'm 4 months pregnant. My husband said when the baby is born, he will give the baby the same name as the one of that ex-g child. When I ask why, he said he loves that name and doesn't want to lose it because that other child is not staying with him and doesn't use his surname.

Can you please give me some advice

Your help will be highly appreicated

Answer 424 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear DM,
Well, this is an unusual question, and it'll be interesting to see what our other readers have to say here. I suppose it all depends on how you choose to feel about it, and as you head your question in capital letters "I CANNOT ACCEPT IT!!!!" I guess you have already decided that this is a problem for you.
In previous centuries it wasn't unusual for families to give the same name to several of their living children, expecting that with high infant mortality rates, only one of their "Williams" or "Sarahs" would make it to adulthood. It has, though, become a most unusual practice these days.
I understand that he likes the name, but surely he understands that for a very obvious reason, caused by him, it's upsetting for you to contemplate having the same name for your child as he already gave to an illegitimate "love-child". Does he really only have one favourite name he loves ?
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