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02 Dec 2004

I did not ask him to leave.
My husband packed his bags and left our home last night.This after a few weeks of endless arguments, miscommunication and lack of emotion between the two of us. I suggested marriage counseling and we have been for one session. I was dissatisfied with the session because I felt that the counselor was biased - blatantly taking my side (her being a female, I suppose) .
The issues in our marriage are too complex to tackle in this single posting and we will probably only be able to work through them via counseling.
What I need help with is this: Should I have prevented him from leaving? Should I call him and ask him to return? I did not ask him to leave.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Interesting that you recognized both how very unhelpful it can be if a counsellor blatantly takes one side in couples counselling, and that it was you who noticed and were bothered by this. You should have told the counsellor right then and there, and thus also let your husband know that you both noticed and were concerned. Maybe his leaving so abruptly, AFTER the session ( if I understood you rightly ) was related to this, and it would help for him to know that you also were bothered about it and would like the two of you to see a different counsellor. Maybe leave it for the moment for him to explore whether returning would be a good idea, and accept the return if it is suggested, but contact him to let him know that the counsellor's apparent bias bothered you, that you'd still like to try to sort things out in counselling, buit with a better and more experienced counsellor.
And if yopu found this counsellor through an organization / agency like FAMSA, also let their office know that she was unsatisfactory in this way, and actually worsened your problems, so they can take note of this.
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