Ask an expert
Question

09 Dec 2004

I don't love him!!
There are so many things going through my head, i just do not know anymore. We have been together for 5 years now and i am pregnant with our second child. Lately I just cannot stand him near me, I know it can be all the hormones and stuff, but can it be this bad. We are still not married, there again I fear the though of marriage, i had never dreamed of the big wedding day, but i had always had this vision that i want to be a single mom. When i was growing up my parents were not always around, i mean my dad was always gone on business trips and my mom used to work quite late, i had to become independant. My bf doesn't contribute much to me and our child, i guess it is my fault as i never ask him for anything.

I often feel i do not love him! before i fell pregnant I went through phases where i was loved him for a few weeks the i hated him. Now I can't stand him and i want him to go. I sound really confused, but i don't want him to be invovled with this pregnancy as he wanted me to have an abortion.
Answer 404 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

The hormones can be very ingenious and troublesome in their impact. Sounds like you grew up used to being independent, and with a vision of even married women being very independent from their partner. Maybe this is part of the ambivalence you describe feeling towards him. Be cautious about making long-term decisions while the wild hormones are playing up. Have you thought of seeing a counsellor to help to sort out your varying feelings and to better examine your options ?
Smoking is bad for you and very bad for your baby, so especally if you see yourself as a good and independent mom, you should give it up for your sake and that of baby and the child. Don't let his ultimatum prevent you from making the decision that's best for you and the children --- do it for yourself, not him.
And if he is threatening to actually return to strip clubs in retaliation, does he really think that's a healthier habit than smoking ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9379 votes
No
67% - 19425 votes
Vote