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12 Aug 2010

I don''t know what to do
I feel a bit stupid to post this as I was always the " strong"  one. I am feeling that I am tumbling down and there is no one to help me. My wife and I are not really connecting anymore since before the birth of our son about 19months ago. Physical contact is non-existant between us, its like sharing a house with a stranger. So I don''t really have someone to talk to and receive comfort from. I have got this constant thought of ending my life, nothing pleases me anymore. the only joy I have is my son, but he likes my wife more so he normally goes to her, I try to be a large part in his life but he just prefers her, I don''t blame him for it. I am not as much fun as she is. I just want some friendship from someone and some physical contact like a hug, or cuddle. If it wasn''t for my son I would have probably long time ago ended my life. How can I get out this slump, I tried to speak to my parents but they cannot help, their advise is not what I want, see a shrink, make friends, speak to your wife. Have seen a shrink a couple of time but nothing seems to change, I cannot make friends, I was never able to socialise to anti-social and my wife and I don''t " klick"  anymore so talking to her is like a stranger. I cannot carry on like this anymore. This was a very long winded piece, sorry for that.
Answer 416 views

01 Jan 0001

Strong people also have problems. Imdeed, it requires a weakling to fail to recognize and acknowledge the problems they have.
It really sounds as though you have become Depressed, which is a common illness. And one which responds really well to the right treatment. I wonder even whether your wife might also have become depressed, which might explain the sense of being solitary in her company.
I'm sure your son loves you just as much - but kids tend to look more to their mom for cuddling, because she's generally around and availablwe for cuddling, far more than dad.
And this vaires with stage of life - there'll be a time not too long ahead, when a dad, and dad-things, will become far more interesting to him.
I'm sorry to hear your experience of the shrink you visited was disappointing - clearly the wrong shrink for you. Kepp trying - a good shrink should both be able to do a proper assessment of the situation, and if he makes a diagnosis, discuss reasonably ways to treat it, and if not a specific diagnosis, to advise on better ways of dealing with this situation.
A proper therapist / counsellor would be the sort of caring and intelligent person you wisely feel the need to talk with.
And don'\t blame yourself for a problem that appears to have formed within your wife
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