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12 Aug 2010

I don''t know what to do
Hi
I feel a bit stupid to post this as I was always the " strong"  one. I am feeling that I am tumbling down and there is no one to help me. My wife and I are not really connecting anymore since before the birth of our son about 19months ago. Physical contact is non-existant between us, its like sharing a house with a stranger. So I don''t really have someone to talk to and receive comfort from. I have got this constant thought of ending my life, nothing pleases me anymore. the only joy I have is my son, but he likes my wife more so he normally goes to her, I try to be a large part in his life but he just prefers her, I don''t blame him for it. I am not as much fun as she is. I just want some friendship from someone and some physical contact like a hug, or cuddle. If it wasn''t for my son I would have probably long time ago ended my life. How can I get out this slump, I tried to speak to my parents but they cannot help, their advise is not what I want, see a shrink, make friends, speak to your wife. Have seen a shrink a couple of time but nothing seems to change, I cannot make friends, I was never able to socialise to anti-social and my wife and I don''t " klick"  anymore so talking to her is like a stranger. I cannot carry on like this anymore. This was a very long winded piece, sorry for that.
Answer 416 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Strong people also have problems. Imdeed, it requires a weakling to fail to recognize and acknowledge the problems they have.
It really sounds as though you have become Depressed, which is a common illness. And one which responds really well to the right treatment. I wonder even whether your wife might also have become depressed, which might explain the sense of being solitary in her company.
I'm sure your son loves you just as much - but kids tend to look more to their mom for cuddling, because she's generally around and availablwe for cuddling, far more than dad.
And this vaires with stage of life - there'll be a time not too long ahead, when a dad, and dad-things, will become far more interesting to him.
I'm sorry to hear your experience of the shrink you visited was disappointing - clearly the wrong shrink for you. Kepp trying - a good shrink should both be able to do a proper assessment of the situation, and if he makes a diagnosis, discuss reasonably ways to treat it, and if not a specific diagnosis, to advise on better ways of dealing with this situation.
A proper therapist / counsellor would be the sort of caring and intelligent person you wisely feel the need to talk with.
And don'\t blame yourself for a problem that appears to have formed within your wife
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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