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18 Jul 2008

I fantasize about getting my ex back
I' m divorced for 7 yrs and involved with my present partner for 4yrs. My ex has been living with the woman he left me for since then, even though he often tells me he still loves me very much and he wishes we were more mature at the time we had problems, instead of fighting. I still love him deeply as he is a best friend as well.
My ex called re the kids this afternoon and mentioned that he and the girlfriend broke off their relationship and that he is staying alone now. I told him that it' s probably temporary and she will be back. He says he is not sure he wants her back.
My fear is this, ever since I know they broke up I fantasize about us getting back together and living as a family again. My present boyfriend and I are also busy seperating and he has moved out my house.
I know taht I should be mature enough to realise that him leaving his girlfriend doesn' t mean he will come back to me and the kids, yet I can' t stop thinking of that. We have remained good friends over the years and I don' t want to mess up that friendship by wanting him again...How do I stop fantasising and start being realistic!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you are allowing yourself to continue to be far too involved with your X --- and dreams of revenge re just another way of remaining involved with him, as are golden fantasies of getting back together again, rather than declaring it Over and moving on. Are you sitting there waiting for his other relationship to falter, hoping he would GENUINELY come back to you ? And would stay with you even if she then invited him back ? Rathwer see a personal counsellor and set yourself free to get on with the rest of your life.
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