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18 Nov 2005

I've Done it Again!
Hi CS and friends

Just when I thought I had a grip on this Bipolar thing - I've gone and had a MAJOR episode again. Now I feel terrible, remorseful, guilty and just plain EVIL>
One of you suggested exercise as a way to up the feel-good hormones so I hit the gym on Monda and have made the effort every day. I was so dissappointed when I STILL hit a low patch.
I sent my husband the ugliest sms - essentially to make him feel crappy like me and now he is walking around in a bad mood and he looks so sad and dissappointed with me.
Where do we go from here? I feel he is losing hope in us. I am also beginning to think that I should just get out of this marriage so that I can stop torturing with my Bipolar issues and just let him get on with his life. I am dragging him down and sucking the life out of him. He feels like he is walking on eggshells cos he never knows when I am going to explode. He cannot tell me the simplest negative thing cos it could just send me into a tailspin.

This is so out of control and I really need help.
Answer 430 views

01 Jan 0001

Why are you feeling guilty ? Did you choose, of your own free will, that, there being nothing interesting on TV, you'd just have a bipolar episode instead ? In what was was it your fault ? Some marriage counselling might help you and your husband to understand each other better, and to cope with the efects of the BPD,. together. if the medication is for some reason not suiting you right now, see your shrink again for a review and possible revision of the medication program
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