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01 Dec 2005

In-law woes...
I am recently married and we're living in a flatlet attached to her parents' house. About two months ago we had a huge argument and was chased away. Her sister called me and asked me what the problems are that we are experiencing, and I told her. The next thing I hear is that I am going behind their backs and bad-mouthing them. Everything I said to her sister is the truth, but I have learned through this that some people tend to change situations to suit them. The truth eventually surfaced and my wife asked me to move back. I made her understand that I don't want to be involved in any of their family issues unless I am direclty the cause or it concerns me. Now, whenever my wife has an argument with any member of her family, I stay out of it. All of the things I supposedly bad-mouthed about them, is what's causing the arguments. What happens is that when they argue, my wife gets upset with me and tries to make it out to be my fault and that I am the cause. When I state the obvious, it gets worse and I seem to get the blame for it. How can I change this mindset?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, it may have been painful, but at least you've learned an important lesson. Yes, people see the same situation in different ways, and some manipulate any situation so as to best suit themselves. Make sure her family know of your new policy not to get involved in any problems she might have with any of them , and trying to stay neutral.
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