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15 Jul 2008

Irritable at boyfriend
Hi Doc, i need advice on how to deal or address this issue.

I have been together with my 32 yrs old boyfriend for 10 months now. We don't stay together, we only see each other over weekends. I feel like my boyfriend is very slow, and this make me very irritable & i end up snapping or yelling at him.

For example. He has been at my place since friday, he knew that he will be going back to work today, and he is going to need me to drop him off at the taxis. He wakes up at 4am, and leave me to wake up at the normal time which is 5:30, only then does he tell me he needs to be dropped off, i told him i won't make it bcoz i leave at 6:30, and since im a learner driver i drive slow.
He feels like im being unfair. I tried to be quick & still finished before him, we left at 6:10 am, and only then does he remember he doesn't have money & we have to stop by the ATM.

I am on a lift club, and now i ended up being 20 min late.
This really pissed me off.
Last month we were going to durban, we were supposed to leave at 2am, he wakes up late, and decide to start writing music for the road, i have to pack our luggage in the car, make coffee for the road while he is sitting in front of the PC, from there we must wait for him to dress, we end up being an hour late.

All this is driving me crazy, i become very irritable & annoyed when i am with him. This is putting a strain in our relationship. He has started to doubt that i want to be with him, and im starting to doubt my love for him now.

I feel like im supposed to mother him. He went for a circumcision resently, i had to help him with everything, including removing the gauze. He was just helpless. My 13 & 16 yr old nephew went for a circumcision to, at the same Urologist, they went before him & i nursed them too. but they didn't behave like my boyfriend, i didn't have to remove gauze, wipe off they urine.
He would say things like he is afraid to take a bath incase he gets an infection, i mean this is senseless.
My nephews knew that after the gauze is removed they needed put salt in the bath to speed up the healing, but he was afraid to do it.

Am i being unreasonable? i know people are not the same, but i just feel like this man is behaving like a child & i can't take it anymore. I want to address this, but i don't know how to do it without hurting him.

Please help.

Answer 378 views

01 Jan 0001

Eish ! Not o much slow, as very disorganized. Next long trip, tell him he can do the cooking, coffee and packing, and YOU will write the music ! He sounds more of a kid than your nephews. You know, fishermen, when they find they've caught only a little one, usually throw it back in the water to grow up some more. Maybe sometimes that's worth doing with a guy who still has a lot of growing up to do ?
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