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18 Nov 2005

Is it physical of Psycological
Dear Doc,

Hope you can shed some light on this one, i'm a bit confused myself. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months, our "love life" has been excellent from the first time it happened. Recently though my boyfriend had a kidney stone removed, which I have been told is very painful. They also inserted a stent which was removed 4 days after the operation. Ever since the operation he has been very distant, we don't cuddle like we used to and when I initiate love making he bluntly says no! When I asked him what the problem was he says that he feels embarrased by what happend during and after the operation and that metally he's not over it yet. Could this operation have had such a huge effect on him and if so, what can I do to help. Or is it maybe something else that i'm blind to?

Thank you
CA
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Having had a kidney stone earlier this year ( mercifully not needing surgical removal or stent ) I can vouvh for it --- it is one of the most exquisitely painful experiences imaginable. And then some. Some of us do, surely, get quite surprisingly disturbed by such experiences, so this could applyy to him. It's hard to tell from a distance. So what i can say is YEs, it is very believable that this is causing the change in him, but not certain, and weither way, it suggests he could do with some counselling to help him to sort things out.
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