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23 Jan 2004

Is it worth to go on with relationship.
All feedback would be appreciated: I have been in this relationship for just over 5 months now. And I love this girl very much. We also got engaged a few weeks ago. Well she started swotting now, a 4 year cours. Her mother says I cannot see her Thuesdays and Thursdays. She has to swot. Ok fine, but when me and my girl talked about it, she said she can still go out or go visit other friends on those days.?????Anyway yesterday she had class 8 am to 9 am and then she wanted to go play pc games with friends, but mom said she must help her in the shop.And today she does not have class and she must work again in the shop. But still I could not see her last night. But games en to help mom in the shop does not invluence the swotting, only me!? We are in a serious relationship, but now she says she like the rules because she wants her free space. We can only see each other in the evenings, cause I work during the day, but still she wants free space. I don’t think this is appropriate in a relationship. If 2 people love each other so much they want to spend time together and do things together when ever possible, right?? When I try to talk about it she says choose, option A or B. A: I take the rules and continue B: We split up. Well I don’t want to choose, and if you love someone that much you will not make them choose a wrong choice if it comes to that, you will try to make them choose A because you love them.
Answer 461 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Storm,
You both sound rather young, and she, like her mother, sound raher self-centred and uncompromising, and inconsiderate. But on the other hand, maybe you're pressing too close, and she does want "own time" as Dampies says, outside of studying and shop. Don't you, really, need some "own time" of your own ? At an earlier stage of a relationship, I'd be all with Dampies, but if your gf has agreed to be engaged to you, formally, then she is being less than reasonable. Indeed, if her studies must take priority at this time, etc, why did she get engaged now ?
And it sounds as if she ( with mom ) has made a set of rules that don't take you into account --- don't you need to sit and talk this through, and make sure that both of you have the same idea about what sort of relationship this is ?
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