Ask an expert

22 Jun 2010

Is there any help???
Hi Doc

I am married for 2yrs and my marriage is becoming worst everyday. we were fine even though there were normal ups and downs before but things turned after we got married. I used to love that guy a lot. To be honest he was cheating a lot and I ended up having my freinds with benefits now and again but I stopped a soon as our relationship became serious. Well after getting married we fought almost everyday about anything which I thought that led to me loosing my feelings for him. As I''m writing this I feel absolutely nothing for him and I don''t even want him to touch me. We are fighting physically sometimes and sometime he would even try to strangle me. He did it again yesterday and he was beating me like he is in a ring with a professional boxer.

Well along the way I ended up becoming very vilent in such a way that whenever we start fighting, I will be the one starting to punch him. That started after I was robbed and those people tried to rape me. I couldn''t let him touch me and it made things worst coz he didn''t understand why. Well I tried to go for counselling because I was also raped when I was 14. I then became so dipressed and ended up in hospital and I was told by my both psychiatrist and psycologist that I''m schitzo-effective and I was put on medication wich gave me all the side effects and I stopped taking it. I wanted to be fine on my own and I wanted to know if my feelings were dead or it was like that only to my husband. I got someone and had sex with and it was fine and normal. Since then I have boyfreinds where ever I go. I even have one night stands if I want and weird enough I don''t even feel guilty about it. My husband on another side is no longer cheating. My main problem is that now I even have sex with my freind''s husband and I feel guitly everytime because I see my freind almost everyday and she will tell me her problems with her husband.
Right now I do not have energy for anything not even life. all I want right now is to end my life. I feel like I''m messing everybody''s life and myself in that process. I feel like I don''t know myslef anymore because when I sit down and think about the cheating, the lies and all the bad things that I do everyday I feel that I have changed a lot and yet nobody knows about this dark side of my life. I even went against my beliefs and tried the traditional healers for help to fix my marriage but it didn''t help

Somebody told me that a raped person will never want to have sex like I do because of the bad experience but I have sex with whoever I feel like having it and it doesn''t matter where.

Sorry doc for this long post. Is there any help for a person like me out there? What is wrong with me? What can possibly change a person like this?
Answer 446 views

01 Jan 0001

A marriage started with both of you cheatin on each other was surely under a major handicap from the start. Now you are describing a seriously abusive relationship, in which both of you are being abusive, maybe especially him.
What is the point of continuing such a relaionship ?
As your shrinks made a serious diagnosis, it would be wise for you to see a psychiatrist again for a re-assessment, and a discussion of why you found the previous medication othersome, and to select effective meds that could suit you better.
Whether or not you feel guilty, the highly promiscuous life-style you describe is really risky, including the risk of STD and HIV/Aids.
People react to rape in many different ways, which can include promiscuity. This is something to discuss frankly with your shrink.
I can't answer your questions directly, beuase to do so would need a careful assessment by a specialist shrink, in person, and working with him or her on proper therapy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.