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Question

27 Jul 2006

IVF - HOW TO SUPPORT MY FRIEND
Hi Doc

friends of ours recently did Ivf and they are waiting to see if they are pregnant. We are all praying that it has worked since they do not have money to repeat the procedure should it have failed.

Now everyone is excited about this but even though I am happy for them something is holding me back. I am actually afraid for all of us. How do I make everyone keep things on the low until we know for sure that she is pregnant. The father is alreaedy taking of selling their house and buying a new one since they will need more space when the babies come. there is a possibility of twins. The wife has also stopped working. Now this sound extreme to me. I know that they are excited and all but I think we should all be cautios for now.

I have not obvioulsy raised my concerns to them since I will appear as if I dont want this for them. But personally I feel that they have raised their expectations soo high that it will be too hard for them to recover should it all not work.

I feel so conflicted , why am I feeling this way.
Answer 497 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Simply talk calmly with the friends, pointing out that while everyone is hoping for the best, because there is always a possibility of failure in such situations, it's wise not to create too much excitemtn until the result os clearer. The "seellthe house - Quit your job" sort of response is deeply unwise, and in far too much of a hurry ! Nothing hard to explain about your cautious reaction --- you're being wise
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