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06 Feb 2004

JEALOUS
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
Answer 415 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear MEl,
If he changed for the better after you discussed this with your inlaws, have further discussions with them ! haven't you discussed this with him, making it clear how deeply hurtful and stupid his bhaviours of September were ? It sounds as if, getting the job after the period being unemployed, went to his head ; but also, more alarmingly, as if he abused his position as a teacher towards his students, as academic duties do NOT include dating, which abuses one's position of trust and the power differential.
And why not insist that you both get involved, togther, in marriage counselling, to sort this out and get things in perspective again ?
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