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18 Jan 2004

i've been going out with my b/f for 2yrs now & he's got a 3 yr old daughter with another woman. We r planning of gettin married sometime next yr & they had an arrangement with this woman that when the child turns 2 he'll take her. He did but few days down the line the mother came to take her child without discussing the matter with the father(the child was stayin with my b/f's mother). He now wants nothing to do with the child & we live worrying about what's next from this woman. My problem is this is killing me & we planning to have a child of our own & start a family, I never thought this would come down to this as they had an agreement. We both have no clue as to what to do with his situation & he's not married to this woman so he believes has no rights to the child......Please advise before I go nuts
Answer 352 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear grace07,
It sounds as if the problem lies in good part because they were relying on an informal, verbal agreement between them, which left her totally free to change her mind as it suited her. FOr issues that matter so much ( and apart from the wishes of the two parents, even more important it's the child's way of life and her future that is at stake )
You all, surely, need a good legal opinion to be absolutely clear on what can be done legally. That's not my area of expertise, but I believe that even though they're not married, he should still have some rights in law, and the mother isn't entitled to frivolously provide and withhold access to the child. It may be possible with the help of the lawyer, both to exercise what rights he does have under the law, and even to seek a court decision on custody and related rights, which neither would thereafter be free to break as they pleased. The primary issue for the court would be to decide what was in the best interests of the child.
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