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25 Jul 2005

JEALOUSY
I am a 33 years of age, my husban 37 and married for nearly 16 years with two beautiful children. When I first met my husband at the age of 14 I was young and thought the jealousy he protrayed was sweet and that he wanted to protect me. However, since we got married he displayed extreme jealous, not only about my clothes I wore etc. but also towards other males and more particularly our friends. I was never allowed to have a casual friendship with other males and even if I dared talking to other men I was in trouble. From time to time my husband accused me of having affairs with other men which hurt a great deal as I have always been faithful. Matters got worse over the past few months and he even started to spoil my friendship which I have with my only two female friends I have. Three weeks ago I wanted to leave him as I could not keep up with his jealousy any more. For the sake of my children I stayed and he promised to get help. He is receiving therapy now and although I have seen some change I often wonder if his jealousy would ever be totally cured. Please could you give me some advice and your views on the matter.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like this could be an example of what we call pathological jealousy, which can be helped through counselling, but this is difficult to achieve as the individual often doesn't see themselves as having any problem at all. It's good news that he has accepted this fact and that he is seeing someone for therapy --- we can't predict how fully he may be able to learn to control this jealousy, but the fact that he agreed to therapy is a promising sign.
Maybe ask if it would be acceptable for you to join one or two sessions with his therapist, so you can better understand how you can help
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