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Question
07 Jul 2005
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Jelousy making me nasty
Hi People
I have an issue with jelousy, my bf is an attractive man and when he is around certain friends (girls) they hug him ant stuff and that me insanely jealous, i end up getting really angry or just dont speak to him for a few hours till i calm down. But it isnt al women jsut a selected few. I have told him about how I feel and he assured me that he was not interested in any of them. But he sometimes sees them behind my back and when i found out he said it is because i dont like them and he doesnt go there when i am with because he doesnt want to upset me and cause arguments .
It is not to say that I have a low self esteem, I dont,
I dont mean to be conceited but i am fairly attractive myself, I used to Model and allot of my male collegues and friends and even his friends tell me that i look good. So why am i so insanely untrusting and jelous.
I have an issue with jelousy, my bf is an attractive man and when he is around certain friends (girls) they hug him ant stuff and that me insanely jealous, i end up getting really angry or just dont speak to him for a few hours till i calm down. But it isnt al women jsut a selected few. I have told him about how I feel and he assured me that he was not interested in any of them. But he sometimes sees them behind my back and when i found out he said it is because i dont like them and he doesnt go there when i am with because he doesnt want to upset me and cause arguments .
It is not to say that I have a low self esteem, I dont,
I dont mean to be conceited but i am fairly attractive myself, I used to Model and allot of my male collegues and friends and even his friends tell me that i look good. So why am i so insanely untrusting and jelous.
CyberShrink
When someone is excessively jealous, as seem to be the case here, you create your own problem, don't you ? First you get jealous when there's no need to be ; then in order to avoid a scene, even if he wants to chat to them innocently, he feels driven to do it behind your back, which of course feeds your suspicion. One of the things he may like about them is that they're not jealous about his relationship with you.
Your general self-esteem may be OK, but it still does sound as if you don't feel self-confident about your ability to have and retain the love of a good man, without him inevitably straying. Counselling could help.
Your general self-esteem may be OK, but it still does sound as if you don't feel self-confident about your ability to have and retain the love of a good man, without him inevitably straying. Counselling could help.
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