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25 Jul 2005

Joanne E - reward charts
Maybe I should start some for my dh as well? The putting the clothes in the basket sounds nice...

I also never like the reward charts but they do work on children. I think that it is just the recognition more than anything else. She gets "merit cards" as rewards so I don't feel that it is bribery. Yes, she has to understand the world and fit in - if there is really such a thing as main stream. Personally I don't feel the need to be just like everyone else, I enjoy being different and encourage her to be as well. I do believe though that life itself is like a reward system - we get rewarded for good behaviour and kindness by the friendhips that we make. We get rewarded for hard work by the salaries that we earn and the good marks at school. Bad behaviour normally has bad concequences. Fighting and constant punishment and pleading has no effect and just makes all of us unhappy.

If your litle one is on the aspergers spectrum that would explain a lot of his behaviour - that is also not the worst thing to have! (In my opinion anyway). I don't argue with my daughter over her creative play or preteding to be animals - they are only little for so long and before I know it she won't want to play anymore - this too shall pass...
Answer 388 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Excellent viewpoint, bobbie. And what is most important is that using such charts reverses what is otherwise an almost irresistable tendency to give the child loads of reqarding attention when they are being sick / naughty / troublesome, compared to the lesser attention they get when doing well.
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