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24 Nov 2005

Joyful season???
I lost my son in a motorcar accident 7 months ago. The pain was very intense and felt as though someone had punched a hole right through my heart. I know where he is and I know I will see him again but the PAIN.
However like most loads you learn to carry them and eventually to start living again - and then comes the "season of joy".
Last weekend we had our family "thanksgiving", where we all get together to celebrate the year and decorate the Christmas tree.
This has opened the wound wide open and one wishes one could just sleep for the next month.
How do you handle this time of the year? I have a large family with lots of children and grand children. This is a wonderful time of the year for all of them. I don't want to spoil it for them but buying gifts and celebrating seems too HARD. I reason with myself but the fact remains that although I want to do the Christmas thing for the family, inside I am drowning in tears. My other children miss their brother but they have lives and children and although they respect my heartache, they are getting on with life.
How do you handle this time of the year????
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

HEllo Lee, I am so sorry to hear about your grief. Anniversaries and holidays are always a difficult time. Don't feel you HAVE to pretend to be jolly or get into the gifting frenzy, just for the sake of others. Take time for yourself and your thoughts, and maybe consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions. Also, consider contacting, if as I hope they have a branch within reach of you, the organization the Compassionate Friends, which consists of people who have lost a child, of whatever age, you gather to help each other. The pain will, unbelievably, get better, and it will become easier to remember him with joy for all the good aspects of his life, and not merely with sorrow.
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