Ask an expert
Question

08 Jul 2005

Just dont know anymore...
SR/powerpuff/ anyone - Please - I need advice - this is a long story.....

I have been divorced for seven years and during the last seven years have been involved in three relationships. My current b/f is my ex brother-in-law (I have known him for twenty years) and we have been together for two years. He has told me that he has slept with about twenty woman since his divorce. He has been involved in two serious relationships - they moved in with him. He and my sister have been divorced for nine years due to her infidelity. My sister has been involved with another guy now for close on three years and yes she is living with him.

It was difficult for all concerned when we got together, his kids, my kids etc. but hey.. we are all grown-ups and we make our own choices in life. We used to be very close - my sister and I that is - but we have drifted apart. She says she has come to terms with what is happening but I don't think she has.

My sister and her ex (my b/f) have continued with their sexual relationship up until now although they both deny it..but I have witnesses. They have both told me that they are not f..... each other anymore but did in the first year of our relationship for which I forgave them both. This happens when I am not around and she visits/collects her kids. I have begged her to stop but I think she feels she owes it to him for some or other reason. When I question him, he becomes quite aggitated with me and says I must believe what I want to believe and at other times he jokes about it i.e. asks how about a three-some with her. He often goes out alone and he has many female friends which he meets up with. I just hope he is not f...... them aswell. I have been for a HIV test and was found to be negative but this scares the shite out of me.

Am I nutz to stay in this relationship knowing this? Is it a case of his having his bread buttered on both sides? I have developed deep feelings for him and feel I can put up with his behaviour for fear of losing him. Should I tell my sisters partner what she is up to? I mean this is exactly why they got divorced in the first place - she was cheating on him and now she is doing the same to her current b/f - although she says she loves him and cannot f...k some-one else. Joke!!!

I am very independant so I am not with him for financial reasons. I have my own place and have not moved in with him. I just want to sit them both down and get to the bottom of this!!!! I am hurting and I dont know where to turn to or what to do. On another note ...there is no trust, by that I mean because of what he is doing with my sis and I know that without trust a relationship cannot work but I sometimes feel 'what the hell' and adopt a no care attitude. I am also on anti-depressants...which is another story....I'm going crazy and no I am not insecure and jealous - but I feel I have every reason to be feeling the way I am...hurt, confuzzled, beside myself, lost...I guess I am having an out of body experience. I know that some of you will say "I only have myself to blame". Yes I do blame myself but I really love him and he knows how I feel about him - I have often told him how much I love him.

Any kind advice would be most welcome!!


Answer 445 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

,,,,,
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.