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07 Dec 2005
light at the end of the tunnel
Although one never wants to hear the old cliche when everything around you crumbles, it's just true that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Two years ago my husband of 6 years died, I lost my job, I was in a car accident, and one of my children fell seriously ill. I had no hope for the future. Absolutely none. Only my kids kept me going, and probably some unrecognised but deepseated fight for survival. Now, two years and 23 job applications later, I found a very good senior position, doing something i"m really good at and enjoy, my children are happily settled in our new environment, and we laugh together a lot. And the strange thing of it all is that I feel I am today, and where I am today because of the trauma of two years ago. Not because i'm "a better person" (I hate that expression), but because in my job and with my children I now need the insight i got through having had to deal with becoming independent overnight after my husband's accident, dealing with all the admin and arrangements and assertive negotiations regarding the accident (I would've given it to my husband to handle if he was here), and recognising that it's OK to cry and be seriously pissed off (which I sometimes still am) about the hurt and pain. I'm glad that i reached this point where I can look back but know I'll be OK, and that I am able to count my blessings.
Thank you so much for sharing your valuable experience, Candy --- and congratulations. Today, you are the light in many other tunnels.
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