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17 Jul 2006

Long Distance Drama
Dear Doc
I met someone 6 months ago on "holiday" we both live in different towns, but emailed and phoned each other and have visited each other about once a month for the last six months. All was going fine and I thought I loved this person deeply and wanted nothing more than to be together. Then the las trip he made to come and see me was the longest time we had spent together. After about 5 days of 24/7 I felt completly claustrophobic, needing my own space and irritable. I tried to not let it show but the more I asked for a bit of space the more closeness he wanted. We ended up having a fight and I don't know whether we should see each other again.
Do you think this is just a hic-up brought on by the long distance and then suddenly to much time together or do you think that if I feel like that (claustrophobic) the relationship is not to be. As soon as he had got on the plane to go home I missed him???


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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It could be related to the long-distance nature of the relationship ; it could be simply that for those of us used to living on our own, it can feel rather claustrophobic to have someone else around 24/7 --- however lovely and loved that person may be. Talk about this together --- it does not necessarily mean that you can't have a happy relationship together, but that you need, especially at the start, to be together tless intensively, and with each having some more space and time alone as well as together.
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