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08 Aug 2010

Long lost brother meeting
My sister and I finally met our brother. The meeting went well. And a second meeting was arranged to meet our families. Question: why do I feel depressed and not connected to him, whereas my sister is? In first meeting my sister was so overwhelmed and emotional, she talked non-stop which resulted in me not getting a word in. I told her about it tho and we sorted out that problem. Today, a week later, we met for lunch with the families, and still I felt no connection. Is that perhaps because there were too many families around and I could not connect? My sister on the other hand it appears, has a mutual connection with him. Do I need a one-on-one with him in order for me to connect? I know very little about him so far, and he certainly knows nothing about me as I volunteered nothing. Is there something wrong with me??? Or do I need time for this to happen by itself?

Thank you.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You and your sister are diferent people, and likely to react differently to various experiences. Enjoy your own valid reactions, rather than lesen them for not being more similar to those of others. A meeting of the families is a good idea, but unlikely to be a great time for more intimiate one-on-one connections - you probably do need some time together, just you and him. Maybe you could e-mail him or write a letter summarizing your life experiences so far ( not too lengthy or heavy ! )amd how you feel about him, what you'd like to know about him. Maybe suggest he could write, too, or leave it open to later discussion. Try not to expect too much so you can enjoy what is, without pressurizing either of you. let it take the time it needs. Is there something wrong with you ? Only a bad case of worried normal.
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