Ask an expert
Question

09 Dec 2005

Looking for THE Therapist
I'm looking for a therapist that will help me with issues that revolve around my sexuality, relationships and self esteem. I have tried 3 different therapists in the past year and two where a total waste of time. The third helped me with career guidance for next year, since he says that some of the problem stems from my feeling that I'm underachieving. Needless to say he has 6 degrees through Unisa, so counselled me to study through them next year.

Last year I was thoroughly committed to a girl and had my heart set on marrying her. I am 29 and she is 26. I have dated since I was 14, but I was her first boyfriend. We courted for 3 years and did not have sex during that period. She broke it off because she found out that I occasionally looked at porn and said this was being "unfaithful in my heart and mind".

Well, I was really broken up and very angry about it. I've struggled with my self-esteem a lot since then and also struggle to commit to a relationship. I've had some casual relationships this year but really would like to build towards having a single, loving relationship and falling in love again. I don't want to waste more time on worthless therapy sessions and need to find a professional that I can build trust with, who will challenge me and who really wants to help me get to a better place in my self.

I do not have a preference as to gender of the therapist, but would like them to be close-ish to Edenvale.
Answer 325 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sorry that wo of the counsellors didn't work well with you, and sorry too that the girl had apparently such highly unrealistic expectations from you, indeed from any partner. Don't let it dent your self-esteem. Now, you know we can't, for various excellent reasons, keep track of all therapists or recommend any specific shrink. Your concept sounds right, but alas there's no easy way to discover a good therapist, and then amongst those, the one thagt will "clicl" best with you, other than trial and error. Pity there's not some variety of computer-dating service to match therapist and client !
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
32% - 9422 votes
No
68% - 19857 votes
Vote