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17 Jul 2008
LOST MY DAD WHEN YOUNGER
I am a 22 year old woman, my father comitted suicide when I was 14 but I still cant get over his death. My mother cant understand this because my father molested and physicly abused me when I was younger. My mother never burried his ashes, she just left it at the undertakers. I went through allot in this past years. First I was a cutter (I would slit my wrists whenever I felt depressed), I became dependant on drugs after that I became bullemic but had to stop due to my pregnancy. I also had two forced abortions when younger and still in college. I miss my father allot. Do I need professional help? My mother took me to a state phsyciatrist at Tygerberg Hospital but he made me feel uncomfortable because he just stared at me without saying a word, I never went back.
I wish people who, however desperate they come to feel, contemplate suicide, would remember you and so many others like you, in terms of how badly a suicide affects innocent others, especially children. And as you mention, it's complex, so one can even feel bad about the loss of someone who wwas really not atg all a nice person, like an abuser. Now, if you met a shrink at Tygerberg, so incompetent and silly as to have simply stared at you, reject him, but don't reject the possibilities of being helped by so many other competent and pleasant shrinks. YOu do need expert professional help, to sort out all these issues, and find a more pleasant and safe way to enjoy the rest of your life, without always looking back over your shoulder
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