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21 Jan 2004

lost the ability to make friends
Since I met my hubbie 12 yrs ago, I have slowly starting losing the ability to make new friends. Only now I'm brave enough to face up to this. Could be borne from personal insecurities about abiliies, etc. Totally out of line with work performance which is above average. Are there "rings" for me to link into? Like AA for alcoholics? Happiliy married , not looking for a dating service.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear lonely, let's see what our other readers suggest here ! Your idea of a form of AA for shy folks, is brilliant, maybe you ought to find a few like-minded folks and set one up ! And the internet is a splendid way to start up, as people can meet online first, before following up in realtime.
It sounds like you have been losing self-esteem and self-confidence, though you're very obviously an intelligent and pleasant person. Sometimes it's easier to start developing new friends through existing friends of your husband, and jointly socializing with them and him ; maybe he can join a gym or similar setup with you, and you could go along with him, so as not to feel awkward and alone ; sometimes it's easier to meet people who share hobbies and other interests of yours, as the meetings can be officially "about" these interests ( whether sporting, political, religious, hobby-oriented, fan-clubs, or charities, whatever ) than "just" about meeting people as such ; and give one an opportunity to gain confidence, and then go on to developing from amongst the people you meet, specific friends of those you best get on with.
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