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17 Aug 2007

Loveless in marriage
I am married for 4 years and am in a loveless marriage. I really do not love my wife. I have been to many shrinks due to depression which manifested after marriage. she has been very control and it is a long story. My depression got bad last year and I even went for ECT which took away my nightmares. I was doing well and cancelled my medications that made me sick(lithium, epilum, anzor,ect). I am only on lamichtin and egnoyl. I am really depressed and suicidal and want to leave her but find it so hard. It is also my finances, cannot afford a place for now. What should I do. I keep wanting a relationship with another women and did have an affair because I fell lonely. I also started smoking and smoke pot now and then and really want to ruin my life. Whaty is wrong with me.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Surely it didn't start out as loveless from the beginning ? Depression can mess up love of all sorts, for yourself and for others. You don't mention having tried marriage counselling with both of you participating. You don't mention what your wife feels about the situation. If the marriage is irrevocably loveless, that is sad, but it needn't be either an emergency or unbearable. You can take your time about this. A relationship with another woman won't help at all, and is surely not what you need. And moking, either tobacco or pot won't help you either with the depression or to sort out these problems. Have you discussed this with your own psychiatrist ?
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