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18 Feb 2004

low self esteem around my peers because of early pregnancy, failed relationships and no degree
Hi Doc

Mine is a long story so I will try and cut it short. I had my first baby when I was 17 went back to school with my then partners motivation and did my matric got exemption and feel good abut that.achievement cause it wasnt easy around the kids at school teenage pregnancy then was still sort of unhead off. He was my first real boyfriend in the sense that he broke my virginity. I really depended on him lots and my world for a year after baby was around him and baby - then he went cheated and commited to another woman obviously that left me distraught I went back home to live with Dad and managed to pull myself together get a job as a receptionst then a year of not dating and scared started dating a man who 6 years later became the father of my second born a year before that he started behaving strange and avoided my going to his place, I knew something was wrong thought we could fix it somehow -things got better we got engaged I got pregnant and then the distance started again and this time for worse events spiralled down to my discovering he got married whilst I was pregnant.

My inferioruty complex hits me most when I am with my peers, cousins who are either a year younger or older if not the same age who have had the opportunity to go to tertiary get the right foundation for a career start and have fruitful non- burdened relationships. This really depresses me so very much and gives me feelings of worthlessness and I become even more of the introvert I am because I see myself as the mother of two with diffrent fathers, no degree , no relatiosnhip I am doing something about my studies -I hope to get my degree through Unisa this year and begin my honours next year -I know I can do it but I honestly want to change the way I see myself because I am a beliver of self profecised actions - that I wil be what I believe I am and to change nmy whole otlook of myself - who will settle for someone like me?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear trapped,
You have had some really bad experiences in life SO FAR. But don't let them make you feel inferior --- it was those men who were truly inferior, not you. Any number of people would be glad to know and have a relationship with you --- not needing to "settle for" you. But check out the availability of student counselling through Unisa ( if you're not too far from campus ) or locally. You deserve to work with a counsellor to improve your self-image, and to recognize what an admirable and special person you are, to have managed as well as you have through the problems you have encountered.
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