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16 Jan 2004

Marriage falling apart
I have been married for +- 12 years and through these years it has been a living hell sometimes (most times). I know I am not guilt free as anyone in this situation is not. Recently I began thinking that I do not respect myself to put up with this abuse (verbally, mentally and sexually). I am male for interest sake. The problem is I love her dearly but she does not love me(she said so on many occassions). I believed that by loving her she could learn to love me but that does not seem to be the case. TO complicate the matter we have kids and this is not healthy for them to grow up into. I need love in a relationship I cannot live any other way and I am at the end off my line. I dont even feature on her love radar screen.

I need to know how to gather the courage to break this feeling of hurt, anger frustration and get the divorce and more importantly move on with my life. In addition I have a very traditional family that would frown upon divorce how do i deal with that without being isolated. One more problem is i liove not only her but her family too and would hate to cut ties but i do not believe that if i divorce i would be able to talk, sit or see my wife again.
Answer 368 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Desp,
Would she consider joining you in marriage counselling ? ( If she tends to blame you for everything that goes wrong, she might buy into the notion with the idea that at least it'll get YOU sorted out ! ) If not, then individual personal counselling for you alone, might help you to sort out your conflicting feelings, and to devise whatever arrengement will maximise the happiness of yourself and your children, letting your wife take more responsibility for her own happiness.
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