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Question
16 Feb 2004
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Marriage vs. friends
I am in love and very happy with by wife to be, getting married this month. The problem is that ever since things started shaping up with my girlfriend. My friendship of over 10yrs is in trouble, my friend has become very judgemental, accusing me of neglecting him. He doesn't call as frequently and expects me to call, and makes negative statements all the time about marriage. I'll admit that we together used to make negative statements about marriage, but i feel now that i have made my intentions clear, it's a bit unfair of him to continue this line. We find ourselves arguing all the time and mistrust is growing, what's the way forward?
CyberShrink
Dear Rob,
Sounds like your friend has a whole lot of growing up to do, and feels bad because you have so obviously managed to become more adult than him. I agree with Angie --- he's acting like a spoilt brat, and being purely selfish. You need to make it clear to him that you're getting on with the rest of your adult life, and he is welcome to remain an adult friend, but that you won't be teenage chums anymore, because you grew up, and you hope he will soon do so as well.
Sounds like your friend has a whole lot of growing up to do, and feels bad because you have so obviously managed to become more adult than him. I agree with Angie --- he's acting like a spoilt brat, and being purely selfish. You need to make it clear to him that you're getting on with the rest of your adult life, and he is welcome to remain an adult friend, but that you won't be teenage chums anymore, because you grew up, and you hope he will soon do so as well.
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