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02 Feb 2004

masculine
hi doc. i'm a 19 year old gay guy, but straight acting. Although i'm not gay acting, i am bit sensitve. I wouldnt say i dont like contact sports, specifically, but is dont wanna engage in it, i dont know why, feel uncomfortable or something! and also other guy things!

Do you have any advice for me, what should i do to get over it, a type of therapy? I also wanna be more assertive, in that way! I've also read about something in the paper for people thats shy and not assertive and so, i think its about a type of biochemical treatment!

thanx!
Answer 377 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Josh,
I'm not sure what you may have seen in the paper, but sometimes a clinic which is conducting a trial of a drug for a particular disorder or problem, may advertise in order to gather enough people at one time, for their research.
Fortunately, there's no treatment for disliking contact sports ! because one thing the country does NOT suffer from, is a serious lack of contact sports ! It sounds as if your main problem may be one of relative lack of self-confidence, maybe shyness, and lack of skills at being assertive without being aggressive. being gay may have little or nothing much to do with it, other than that it's one of many normal states of being which can be misunderstood by other people, and which others can be unpleasant about. It sounds as if you'd benefit most from some counselling, to sort out these issues, and explore assertiveness, self-esteem, and related skills.
Most psychologists ought to be able to help, though it can ehlp to chat with any local gay group, for advice on gay-friendly counsellors. That is, not counsellors who are gay themselves ( that wouldn't matter one way or another ) but counsellors who understand the gay situation well enough to be more helpful.
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