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09 Mar 2004

Men are really from Mars...
My boyfriend of two years behaves really funny these days.I have even tried to break up with him but he does not even see it as an option.He won't let me go but sometimes he treats me so bad.He just moved into his own place and i think he wants to enjoy his space.I don't want to move in with him unless he makes a commitment or something but it's like he thinks i will take over or something.He does really stupid things like he ignores my calls sometimes or he doesn't call me at all.When i try to speak to him we end up in an argument and he ignores my calls for days until he wants me back.Its more like he wants to be in the driving seat.I should see him when it suits him and he will call me when it suits him.Is it normal for him to want to be so controlling over me.When we are together everything is normal and we still have that connection so i don't think he is seeing another woman atleast not seriously.Maybe i should let him play his game and see what happens coz questioning him only creates more problems for me.Please advise.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear girl,
it sounds like you both want to be in the driving seat, of a small sports car with only one driver's seat. And I do think that folks these days put FAR too muc emphasis on calling each other and on how many calls get made --- no wonder Telkom and the cellphone companies are rolling in gigantic profits. Sometimes, especially with younger, less mature couples, they try too hard to climb into each other's pockets, and really do need to develop a real life of their own, both separately and together. And remember, immaturity is not related to age at all. I know some desperately immature folks of 60, and some frighteningly mature folks of 15.
Maybe you two need to talk this through and negotiate an arrangement that suits you both. Maybe he'll have to leave pregnancies to you, but he could take on the barefoot in the kitchen bit ?
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