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03 Feb 2004

Met my boyfriend when he was married
I met my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago. He was in an unhappy marriage and was going out like a single guy. I was living with a my ex boyfriend but I was unhappy too. One night I went out with the girls, met him and we started seeing each other. It was an emotional roller coaster! He divorced 1 year and 8months later. He is 29 no kids. Because he was marrried at the time he tried to tell me not to go out and we argued like mad. One night I went out, he was there with his best friend, I got so drunkI kissed his best friend and he saw me. We now live in Australia and he still has not told his family or friends about me. Its been almost three years and when I want to talk about it we always argue. I say 'But you were married at the time!'. Now I dont go out with my girlfriend because he hates it when I drink and doesnt trust me. We always argue about the same thing!

Are we waisting our time?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cindy,
SOunds like you could well be wasting your time. There are always at least 2 stories behind any marital breakup, and there could begood reasons why his wife broke up wih him, and you might be finding the same problems yourself in your relationship with him. He sounds far too overcontrolling, fussing about your getting together with your girl friend, fussing about whether you went out with anyone else while he was married, and especially keeping his relationship with you, a secret.
If a friend of yours described a situation like this, to you --- would you really advise her to continue with that relationship ? Or to end it ?
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