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17 Apr 2006

molestation in young children
I would like more info about children being molestated by other children. It seems that most young children are being molestated by children 4 or 6 years older then themselves and i would like to educate myself by learning more about this. At all the websites i have heard about children being molestated by older people, uncles, fathers ect but no info on children. It is a problem thesedays and i have heard so much about children being molestated and the parents don't know how to handle the situation because they don't know how to face the child that is molestation their child. Please help
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It sounds to me, sparkie, as though you have been alarmed by some not very well informed articles. When we speak of molestation / child abuse, we are speaking of things an adult does to a child, a person who is not yet adult --- things which involve using the relative powerlessness and naivety of the child, to do things for the adult's pleasure and satisfaction. which may either be against the child's wishes, or at least without valid consent, because we don't consider children as being capable of giving proper informed consent.
Separate from that, children do various things between themselves. They may play innocently ; there may be bullying involving physical violence or threats, which resembles physical and psychological abuse ; and there can be sexual play and exploration which is common and probably even normal, to some degree, during childhood. We do not consider that to be "abuse" when a pair of kids of similar age and similar ignorance, explore together willingly. Where the age difference betwwen the participants is wider, this may overlap with abuse. But it is not useful to be too alarmist about this or to concentrate on naming it "abuse" rather than trying to understand whatever is going on, and concentratng, for instance, on the need for the children involved to receive calm and understanding education about sex and what sexual behaviours are not appropriate.
If one is concerned that one's child MIGHT be involved in such play, what is important is talking with the child, calmly and pleasantly, about whatever may have happened, finding out what the child thinks about it, and using the opportunity to provide useful guidance and advice and information.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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