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25 Jul 2005

Mommy needs advise
My husband and I have been going through a bad patch in our marraige (we are seeing a clinical phyciatrist on a weekly basis) I am fully aware that your six year old daughter has picked up the negative aora between us for quite some time. We ahve decided to work on the marraige rather that getting a divorce. She know that we are seeing Aunty X every week but do not know what for, my Hb suggested that we sit her down and discuss the matter with her on her level as to bring her mind at ease. I am not sure that it would be a good idea. Please advice your opinion
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, of course, the best idea would be to discuss this idea with your own joint therapist ! On the whole, I think it might help. Kids are very perceptive at picking up when something is wrong, and, not accepting a vacuum, they tend, if you don't tell them anything that's credible, to fill the space you leave with their own worries and fantasies, which are often worse than the reality. And, as Bobbie mentions, they often tend to blame themselves ( "If I wasn't such a bad child, mom and dad wouldn't be having problems " ).
Pirple's suggesion of how to discuss this with your child sounds excellent
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