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10 Apr 2006

moving in together
My boyfriend of 4 years wants us to move in together. The only problem is he stays with his cousin who is 20 years old. He wants me to move in with them.

I do not feel comfortable at all with the situation; I am scared and excited at the same time. I feel this is the make it or break it moment for us. The third person makes me really uneasy. For me I feel it is not fait for me to all of a sudden live with two people. I have been staying on my own since high school. My boyfriend is the only person who sleeps over at my place for more than 3 days. The though of sharing my space with the third person is driving me insane.

I feel we need to grow as a couple then we can have kids or we can stay with relatives.

Am I being selfish if I say we must get our own place, just the two of us? Especially since I found them staying together and the cousin’s mother is in London. to make is worst this is not my boyfriend`s place but her aunt’s place. It is not like we can not afford to have our own place.

I am scared to say this to my boyfriend just now he thinks I do not want to move in with him.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe it'd be useful to sepearate the issues --- perhaps you quite like the idea of moving in with him, but NOT the idea of moving in with his young cousin --- that's perfectly reasonable. Wouldn't it be practical for him to rather move in with you ? Is his worry that his cousin perhaps can't afford to keep on the place on his own, without your bf sharing it ? Can't he find someone else to share it with ? But you say this is the aunt's place, so money shouldn't be the problem either way. Why not just calmly discuss this with your bf and explain how you feel ? Surely if he cares about you, he will be reasonable in considering your concerns ?
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