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30 Jul 2007

Must I just let go?
I broke up with my x-boyfriend 5 years ago, we never talked about the brake up until last week. We realised that we still have feelings for each other, but the problem is that he has moved on with his life, he has a girlfriend and a child and they living together. He says our feelings for each other are putting him in a predicament and that he wished we had talked about this sooner because he has always believed that I hate him.
I told him that I did try to arrange for us to meet so that we can speak about it(that was 2 years back) but he did not get back to me and so I though he wants nothing to do with me. His reply was that he was too occupied with his work at that time and did not think it was serious because he thought that I broke up with him because I did not love him anymore.

Now he is saying that we can see each other again because he is not married, I would love to do it but I am not sure if it is the right thing to do, because I will only see him less that 4 times a year as he is living in another province now, and I am scared that I will get more hurt as he might not leave his girlfriend and end up marrying her.

Please advise me on what to do because I still really love him and I could not move on because I hopped that one day we will get back together.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

We all make mistakes in our lives, decisions we later regret. But we move on. You are not the woman who made that decision 5 years ago ; he is not the same man --- and he has indeed moved on and has new commitments, someone else in his life, and a child. To try to go back to the relationship with him which you then gave up is not possible, and will hurt at least two innocent people, and still have a high risk of not working out. Move on, and learn the appropriate lessons, so you don't make this mistake in the future. Seeing him again, and ignoring his woman and child would surely not be right
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