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29 Nov 2005

My brother the idiot
He's going to commit suicide, I know it. The only uncertainty is WHEN.

I'm tired of my brother's emotional games and I don't want to worry about him anymore. )o: I feel guilty for being angry with him all the time. I want to shake him and slap him and show him how much he has to live for, one moment, and the next I want to give him a gun so he can do it then if he so desperately wants to.

We found out recently that he's got a cocaine habit, and I suspect that he's had it for years. This obviously contributes to his state, because he doesn't have any money to feed his dispicable habit anymore. He's not working, yet he always seems to find a drinking buddy to get drunk with. Sis-in-law's suicide kind of pushed him over the brink and he's been messing up everything good in his life eversince... It's been a year, and I have never seen him as bad as it is now.

Doc, how do you help someone who does not think that he has a problem? The old "you can bring the horse to the water..." story.
He's pulling me down into his black hole, and I'm scared he'll succeed...
Answer 584 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sadly, these are typical reactions to someone who is self-destructive and manipulative, and who doesn't have the guts to seriously try to improve their situation. The cocaine can be a significant part of his problems, and is an expression of his self-destructiveness --- and may also help to insulte him from good advice.
The sad fact is that it is impossible to help anyone who doesn't believe that they have a problem and who can't be bothered, therefore, to seek and sincerely work with, the right help. Just make sure that you don't get dragged down into the hole that they dug for themselves. There's no point in being supportive if that just enables them to get even more dysfunctional. That's where tough love comes in
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