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08 Mar 2004

My brother took away my virginity- Pls read & help

I'm so confused and emotionally drained
A close friend of mine called me and she told me she needed to see me urgently. I rushed over to her place and I found her crying.She told me that her younger sister who is 12 years told her that her brother tried to force her to have sex with him. This guys is about 42 years old , their parents both died a while ago when they were still young. I was shocked , I felt numb and I just could not believ it because I know this man , he seems like a decent man.He stays with his live in lover and a 5 year old daughter. My friend stays with this 12 year old girlie. I first thought that the young girl made up the story , it was just unbelievable. And I could kick myself for even thinking about that . While we were talking about this my friend , started crying really hard and I asked her what's the matter , he cries intensified and she asked me to hug her and I did . While I was hugging her and telling her that things will be alright,she told me something that shcoked me even more .she told me that her brother has slept with her as well, he broke her virginity, while she was still young. She asked him for a pair of shoes, and since they did'nt have any parents, her brother was the one looking after them.Before he could give her the money for the shoes , he first aksed her to have sex with him.She did'nt even know what he meant then but she remembers her brother with a huge erection which she did'nt know then what it was. She told me all the gruesome details and the worst part for her is that he is now doing this to his younger sister as well . My friend has never told anyone throughout the years about this and when she told me it was for the first time she ever got it out of her chest. What can I do,I'm really depressed and I'm not sure what to say or do, I just ended up crying myself . Believe it or not , this is a true story and I would welcome any constructive help.Please dont bash my friend , dont tell me it's her fault this happened , I dont want to hear that I need constructive help, I feel I cant sit down and let it go,I need to do something.Please help me , help them !
Answer 45,682 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Lily,
It's not your friend's fault that this happened. She should take the child to a hospital for a proper checkup to be sure she is alright, and they may also be able to put her in touch with a rape counsellor to help her get over the feelings tis induces. I'm very pleased to hear that the sisters are no longer living with this disgusting brother, though I'd still worry about his live-in gf's 5-year-old daughter.
Obviiously the child must never enter his home again. You don't need to pay hundreds of rands to see a psychiatrist, call Childline on their freeline, and explore the availablity of free or very low-cost counselling for the abused.
It would be best for her to go to the police and lay charges against him ; at the very least to inform him that if he ever tries to lay a paw on either of them again, or if you come to hear that he has molested the other little girl, you WILL go to the police and he WILL end up in gaol. I nderstand that neither she nor the little girl will like the idea of talking about the experience at this time --- though it wouldn't harm them to do so, and could help. The gory details don't need to be given to the sergeant behind the counter, but the Child Protection Service of the police ought to be able to send someone who has been properly trained and seniitive, to interview them gently.
Similarly, the Courts are often imperfect, but are supposed to be highly protective of the victims of such abuse, to make it as easy as possible for them to testify. It would be highly reassuring for you all to know that this man is in gaol, explaining himself to other prisoners, and no longer able to cause harm to them or any other girls.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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