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01 Jul 2005

My child
I posted sometime ago about me having a child very young, who has been raised by mom since birth, and now they dont seem to want to let go despite me having a job, house and capable of taking the child. The child is on holidays, and asked them if I could take the child. They agreed on condition that my younger sister comes along to look after her whilst I am at work. Everything has been fine until yestersday when my mom came to JHB (I stay in PTA) unannounced. It seems to me that the intention was to do her staff in JHB and then come to PTA to fetch my daughter and my sister.

I then asked this morning that she stays, even if my sister goes back home its fine, I will take her with me to work this morning, my boss wont mind... and then I'll take her back to my parents on sunday. She made a fuss about it, and called me sick and that I want to traumatise the child unnecessary. Why cant she just go back. She say that I have made other plans etc etc without telling them and I am inconviencing them. I am so hurt and just said, she can take her for all I care. I mean is it wrong for me to want to spend time with my child. I am working and I cant go home often and this is the only opportunity I have with my child. She said why dont I go home with them and get to spend time with the baby there? But I need my own space with my child. WAS I wrong.

Purple and Nina I know you guys were helpful the last time pls if you are there respond. I dont know if you still remember my original post.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Of course here's nothing wrong with you wanting to spend time with your child. It sounds as if for some reason your mom really doesn't trust you to be able to cope with the child --- maybe she doesn't recognize the extent to which you have changed since earlier problem times ? Get good legal advice, maybe from the local law School's free law clinic. Purple, as usual, makes a whole lot of good sense. I really doubt that she has the right to refuse you access to your own child, and it sounds as if you have transformed your situation so as to be much better able to care for the child well. Nina's suggestion of getting advice from a local ( to you ) child welfare worker might help, too.
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